Hey, kids. Here are some quick updates to what I’ve been doing.
Final (?!) revisions to Emerald Sword are underway. Still rethinking that title. At current pace, my fantasy novel will be ready for agents around July 15 or so.
Finished inking/coloring Bubblegum-Man #3 on the big paper. Working on #4 right now. Issue 4 may be a double-sized deluxe-edition. Once these are done, the current story arc will end. In other words, you can expect Bubblegum-Man #3 on this website within the next month or so.
Working on Iron Man armor for Dragon-Con. I’ll be down on Sunday this year. I spend most of my time in the dealer room, scavenging comics and coveting rare action figures I cannot afford.
Posted two new videos to the Youtubes. Here’s the good one:
I forgot to turn off the air conditioning for that first one, so…yeah.
Started watching Rick and Morty this summer. Good stuff!
Tonight’s MTV Movies/TV awards making history by not separating Best Actor into male/female (a designation which seems to have only existed to increase the numbers of awards given, as acting ability has precious little to do with gonads). I don’t see any obscenity here (haven’t been watching long) as in the old days.
Instead, I see honor and respect and a dedication to the best impulses of the human spirit. A little political with the Best Fight Against the System category. Which is good. Some of the best literature, film, and art are born from political fervor.
Beautiful. Well done, kids. Well done.
English literature is awash with great heroes. One of literature’s most venerable heroes is the star of the anonymously-authored Beowulf. This bold Viking set out to save his lord Hrothgar’s people from a vicious monster called Grendel, slew the monster’s mother and her brood of sea serpents.
After these exploits, the author claims that Beowulf participates in the Battle on the Ice of Lake Vanern on the side of Lord Eadgils against the Swedish King Onela.
Pictured: Real Lake Vanern, Sweden
Beowulf then reigns as King of the Geats for 51 years before a dragon rises to threaten his domain. Taking up his sword and shield once more, great Beowulf set off to challenge the beast. In the end, dragon and hero killed each other.
With the exception of the Lambton Worm and a few other medieval sightings, this was the last Western European dragon. In honor of the beast and the hero, we commemorate May 8 as Last Dragon Day. Why May 8? Well, the Battle on the Ice of Lake Vanern took place around 530 AD. The battle with the dragon took place 51 years later, in 581.
Pictured: Real dragon (Source: Playbuzz.com)
5/8/1. Technically, Last Dragon Day should start at 1pm. But whatever.
It’s simple to celebrate Last Dragon Day. First, you’ll need a cape. Next, a sword. Preferably one that is obviously fake, so you don’t get shot by any overeager cops, soccer moms, or neighborhood watch people. Finally, you’ll need a place where you can consume vast quantities of sausage, steak, meat pies, breads, and (preferably) dark soda*.
The day starts at 1pm with the consumption of a single, whole jalapeño to taste the fire of the beast and honor the dragon. Revelry begins at night. Gather friends for your warrior band and have yourself a heady night of soda*, song, and merry-making!
Pictured: Real legendary battle between Beowulf and dragon.
James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown.
“James Brown! James Brown!” –James Brown, 1972
James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown.
James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown.
James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown.
James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown.
James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown. James Brown.
Ok. So by now, you’re either freaking out or wondering why everyone else is. I’m going to lay off the political posts for a while. Instead of complaining and shouting on here, I’m going to start contacting my representatives. I encourage you to do the same, should you feel it necessary.
As for this blog, we will go back to talking about fantasy fiction. Superheroes, monsters, and knights. Stuff like that.
Hey, folks. Quick reminder that the NFL retains full copyright and trademark privileges for the words “Super Bowl.” So whether referring to your Super Bowl party, planning to attend the Super Bowl, or discussing the results of the Super Bowl after Super Bowl Sunday, please remember to refer to the Super Bowl only as the “Big Game” and not the Super Bowl.
By law, only the NFL is allowed to call the Super Bowl the “Super Bowl.” I know it’s ridiculous, but sometimes that’s just the way the super bowls.
Go Falcons! Here’s hoping you manage to defeat the Pats during the Super Bowl to win Sunday’s Super Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday!!
No matter who you’re rooting for, please be safe on Super Bowl Sunday while watching the Super Bowl. Be safe getting home after the Super Bowl is over. And never, ever call the Super Bowl the “Super Bowl.”
Every week, I could publish a list of crimes committed by African Americans, Asian Americans, and members of the LGBTQ community. It would be easy. Just as easy as publishing a weekly list of crimes committed by white Americans, Jewish Americans, plumbers, pilots, Catholics, or blue jean aficionados. It’s almost as if GASP crimes are committed by all sorts of people!
To recap:
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the DOJ’s Violence Against Women programs.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the National Endowment for the Arts.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the National Endowment for the Humanities.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Minority Business Development Agency.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Economic Development Administration.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the International Trade Administration.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Manufacturing Extension Partnership.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Community Oriented Policing Services.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Legal Services Corporation.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Civil Rights Division of the DOJ.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Environmental and Natural Resources Division of the DOJ.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Overseas Private Investment Corporation.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Electricity Deliverability and Energy Reliability.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Fossil Energy.
* On January 20th, 2017, DT ordered all regulatory powers of all federal agencies frozen.
* On January 20th, 2017, DT ordered the National Parks Service to stop using social media after RTing factual, side by side photos of the crowds for the 2009 and 2017 inaugurations.
* On January 20th, 2017, roughly 230 protestors were arrested in DC and face unprecedented felony riot charges. Among them were legal observers, journalists, and medics.
* On January 20th, 2017, a member of the International Workers of the World was shot in the stomach at an anti-fascist protest in Seattle. He remains in critical condition.
* On January 21st, 2017, DT brought a group of 40 cheerleaders to a meeting with the CIA to cheer for him during a speech that consisted almost entirely of framing himself as the victim of dishonest press.
* On January 21st, 2017, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer held a press conference largely to attack the press for accurately reporting the size of attendance at the inaugural festivities, saying that the inauguration had the largest audience of any in history, “period.”
* On January 22nd, 2017, White House advisor Kellyann Conway defended Spicer’s lies as “alternative facts” on national television news.
* On January 22nd, 2017, DT appeared to blow a kiss to director James Comey during a meeting with the FBI, and then opened his arms in a gesture of strange, paternal affection, before hugging him with a pat on the back.
* On January 23rd, 2017, DT reinstated the global gag order, which defunds international organizations that even mention abortion as a medical option.
* On January 23rd, 2017, Spicer said that the US will not tolerate China’s expansion onto islands in the South China Sea, essentially threatening war with China.
* On January 23rd, 2017, DT repeated the lie that 3-5 million people voted “illegally” thus costing him the popular vote.
* On January 23rd, 2017, it was announced that the man who shot the anti-fascist protester in Seattle was released without charges, despite turning himself in.
* On January 24th, 2017, Spicer reiterated the lie that 3-5 million people voted “illegally” thus costing DT the popular vote.
* On January 24th, 2017, DT tweeted a picture from his personal Twitter account of a photo he says depicts the crowd at his inauguration and will hang in the White House press room. The photo is curiously dated January 21st, 2017, the day AFTER the inauguration and the day of the Women’s March, the largest inauguration related protest in history.
* On January 24th, 2017, the EPA was ordered to stop communicating with the public through social media or the press and to freeze all grants and contracts.
* On January 24th, 2017, the USDA was ordered to stop communicating with the public through social media or the press and to stop publishing any papers or research. All communication with the press would also have to be authorized and vetted by the White House.
* On January 24th, 2017, HR7, a bill that would prohibit federal funding not only to abortion service providers, but to any insurance coverage, including Medicaid, that provides abortion coverage, went to the floor of the House for a vote.
* On January 24th, 2017, Director of the Department of Health and Human Service nominee Tom Price characterized federal guidelines on transgender equality as “absurd.”
* On January 24th, 2017, DT ordered the resumption of construction on the Dakota Access Pipeline, while the North Dakota state congress considers a bill that would legalize hitting and killing protestors with cars if they are on roadways.
* On January 24th, 2017, it was discovered that police officers had used confiscated cell phones to search the emails and messages of the 230 demonstrators now facing felony riot charges for protesting on January 20th, including lawyers and journalists whose email accounts contain privileged information of clients and sources.
And [Jan. 25]: the wall and a Muslim ban.
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Congratulations. You have your country back. Sorry, we couldn’t get you all the way to 1945. Only got as far as 1969. Enjoy!
Snowflakes, mount up.
Know what’s really weird, though? I’m not even a liberal! I’m pro-life, I’m a practical Catholic, and I think socialism doesn’t work. I just think we should throw First Nations people a bone once in a while, protect the environment in which we live — and upon which we depend to survive as a species — and occasionally help those who cannot help themselves. You know. Like Jesus said to do.
Lots of HFA/Aspie/autistic adults such as myself may find it difficult to do even the simplest of non-disabled tasks. Tasks such as driving a car, moving out of your parents’ house, or even finding someone cute who likes you back can be monumental hurdles for adults with disabilities, especially if those disabilities are primarily mental, such as with autism.
Luckily, I’ve come up with this 5 step guide to help you, as an American with autism, survive in today’s world.
Step 1: Be a Techie
If you have autism, you need to love computers. I don’t just mean video games. You need to love coding, assembling microchips, providing IT support, and all that good stuff. If you are more artistically-minded or if you don’t live anywhere close to Silicon Valley, stop doing that immediately. People with autism are not allowed to be artists, unless they are already well-off with a lot of established connections. The arts — especially the world of publishing, comics, and literature — is no place for a low-to-middle class person with autism and no connections. You need to be a techie, no matter how much you hate it or how little talent/motivation you have for it.
Step 2: Be Grateful
As a disabled adult, your primary purpose is to give non-disabled people inspiration. You’re supposed to help other people realize that they have the inner strength necessary to overcome life’s problems. Your own problems don’t matter. No matter how bad your life is, remember that you don’t get to complain ever. Complaining, like job satisfaction, is for those of sound mind and body only. So be grateful for everything you have, even if everything you have would reduce a non-disabled person to a quivering mass of horror and panic were your situations reversed.
Step 3: Accept All Advice
People are going to be giving you advice. No matter how terrible it is, you have to take it. If you don’t, you are Ungrateful. And there is nothing worse for a disabled person to be than Ungrateful. Remember, techniques that people without disabilities say work will work for you, even if you’ve already tried them to no avail 14,000 times. Clearly, you are not trying hard enough or you just aren’t doing it right. Try their advice again and again. But remember, even if you do go quite mad from all this effort, you are not allowed to complain or even to politely decline anyone’s advice. Unless that advice comes from someone else with a mental or physical disability. Their experience doesn’t count.
Step 4: Remember that Your Opinions, Feelings, and Interests Do Not Matter
All that matters in this world is what other people tell you matters. Your own opinions or feelings don’t come into it. Remember, your emotions, no matter how uncontrollable they may seem, are your own fault. If you feel a constant sense of dread that lasts for hours, days, weeks, or even months, it is entirely your fault because you are clearly too weak. You need to be stronger. Pray more, accept more advice, keep doing what other people tell you to do, even if it doesn’t make any sense. You don’t have a right to an explanation, a sense of peace or serenity, or a life filled with anything more than constant drudgery punctuated by joy. You don’t have any rights at all.
Step 5: It’s All Up to You
In the end, the only person who can help you succeed is you. If you’re not able to make the right connections or find the best jobs or if you blow an interview because you get manipulated into mentioning the fact that you do not drive, it’s your fault. You need to do better and try harder next time. It’s your responsibility to keep emailing contacts, even if you’re pretty sure at this point you’re just harassing them. Think outside the box, unless the advice-givers tell you not to.
It’s up to you to go and get that career/relationship/life other people think it’s within your ability to get. And if you can’t rise to their expectations, let alone your own, it is because you are weak. Remember, there are lots of famous people from history that we think may have probably didn’t have autism. So if you’re not at least as successful as them, it’s entirely your fault.
Step 6: Think Positive
While these steps may seem impossible, as you slowly allow yourself to go insane, you will begin to realize just how small we all are on this pathetic planet. You will realize that you are indeed the Lizard King and can do anything. As you tear through the veil separating this world from the next, rejoice and sing a song of fire and blood that brings this world to its knees. Remember, anything is possible!
Ever wondered what goes on when the proprietor of secondhand record shop at the butt end of the world chucks in the towel and goes back to having a life??
