I hate posting about politics. No one listens if they’ve already made up their mind. No one wants to consider another side. People who change their minds are, after all, flip-floppers. Better to continuously support wickedness than “flip-flop” to the side of truth and justice.

Anyway.

Fox News. Let’s talk. It’s on all the time at my house. I consider myself a bit of an expert, as I’ve seen most of their programming. A couple of their shows, I even like. (Hi, @KennedyNation)

Unlike mainstream media news programming (ABC, CBS, NBC), Fox News (and MSNBC, I assume, as their sister network) presents a single, unified narrative to the American people. Alternative views are presented, mocked, and discarded. Guests who disagree with the host are brought on, present their points (poorly) and are shut down with the weakest arguments imaginable. A single story is allowed to take hold and flourish.

That single story, in essence, is that the Democratic Party of the United States is the true heir of fascism. Led and bankrolled by George Soros and Ivy League elites, liberal organizations in general and the Democratic Party in particular are on a mission from the Not God they don’t worship to destroy America as we know it.

We know this because Fox News says it is true. And Fox News can never be wrong because they’ve promised never to lie to us. Not like those dirty mainstream networks do.

Fox News functions a bit like a cult. Those who get sucked in can no longer value outside perspective. Those of you who enjoy the majority of their programming have already either closed the tab or gone to the comments to lecture me about the glories of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly.

Part of what makes Fox News so attractive is that their anchors actively reject any appearance of academic achievement. Academia, in fact, is the enemy. This makes sense. Socialism is extremely popular in academia. Glenn Beck got that much right. So when they talk to you like someone you can have a beer with, it’s easy to trust them because, hey, they’re your buddies. Not like those fancy college boys with all their boring numbers and facts. No, we’ve got our own numbers and facts, conflicts of interest be damned! And our anchors are way, way cuter.

Well, they are.

In any case, who am I to talk? Growing up in the 90s, I just accepted that sexism was still a problem we were working on in this country. I saw evidence of sexism whenever guys felt like they could just grab women randomly or when locker-room/guy-talk (as disgusting as it could be) was met with a shrug.

I saw evidence of racism at least in my own family. I had family members who would wear that badge with pride. When my science teachers and Captain Planet warned us about global warming, I believed them. Because they were showing and explaining to me logically how these things were happening. Years later, I listened to the climate change argument — that global warming could wind up causing an ice age — with equal acceptance.

I listen to experts. To scientists. To doctors. I trust them. Why? Because they are academics. I trust people who read the big thick books I haven’t gotten to yet. \

But why do I speak as one with authority? As if my way is the only true way? Simple. That’s how Fox News has changed the dialogue in this country. It’s no longer “come with me on this journey toward enlightenment.” No. Now, it’s totally acceptable to say “come with me and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.”

Can’t blame Fox News entirely for that. Only partially. Not sure where else the blame lies. Probably I’m just entitled, as you can tell by all the cars and trophies my parents bought me…

(Ok, they did buy me one trophy, but I thought it was dumb, and I really didn’t think I deserved it. It was for being a good shot on school field trip to Camp High Harbor. That’s right. At 6th grade, they let us shoot rifles at a YMCA camp. I went to a public school. The 90s were a weird time.)

But of course, if I can’t see that NASA’s own research is tainted with the blood money of George Soros (billionaire activist who funds things much as the Koch brothers also fund things), it is obvious I’m just another liberal zombie, brainwashed by the Hollywood Ivy League Elite to bring down this great country.

Yes, I’ve been on food stamps. Yes, I’ve been on disability. I didn’t like going on either. I didn’t get thousands and thousands from the government. I don’t expect handouts. I don’t want handouts.

But I don’t believe Obamacare is the reason businesses aren’t hiring. (It may be the reason SMALL businesses aren’t hiring, though. Quick sidenote: This is why I didn’t vote for Obama. I thought Obamacare would be too damn expensive for a country of 300 million, though much less expensive than single-payer. I hate being right all the time.)

Big companies like Delta and AT&t aren’t hiring because businesses exist to make money. The 2008 recession taught businesses that they could layoff thousands of Americans and still make money. Why the hell would they start hiring now? Make no mistake. The only thing businesses hate more than customers is employees.

So sure. Repeal Obamacare. Insurance will still suck. It doesn’t matter. Insurance companies exist to screw you over. We know this because every insurance company has operated the same way since the first insurance companies were founded in Little Italy around the turn of the century. Back then, they were called protection rackets.

1947 meeting of the Five Families: Lucchese, Genovese, Gambino, Profaci, and Aetna.

Nowadays, insurance companies don’t go through the trouble of beating you up if you don’t pay. Instead, they wait for something terrible to happen, so they can pounce and deny you services. Oh, you still have to pay protection. But we won’t keep your storefront from getting smashed in. Sorry. Them’s the brakes.

And as for picking your own doctors? Before, you went to the doctor the insurance company picked. Now you go to the doctor the government picks? What, exactly, is the difference if affordable choices are still limited?

And is it weird to anyone else that medical costs don’t seem to obey the laws of supply and demand? If we have fewer sick people (demand sinks), medical costs go up. A breakthrough in technology (supply rises)? Medical prices go up. If everyone’s on anti-depressants, shouldn’t they be cheaper? It’s like there’s a cartel thing going on.

But yeah. None of this matters. There will never be a Savior on capitol hill. And no one who disagrees has had their mind changed.

Some days, I can’t wait for our whole civilization to come crashing down.

And feeling like that, folks, is proof that white male privilege exists. Because unlike members of other American minority groups (women, African Americans, Jews, Muslims), I will probably do alright during the apocalypse. No one lynches white male autistic Catholics when the going gets rough.

Not first, anyway.