730am: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
8am: Doctor’s Office opens.
805am: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
815am: First patient arrives, waits in car.
830am: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
845am: Doctor’s Office employees wake up.
855am: Second patient sits in traffic for an hour and a half, lives two miles from Doctor’s Office.
9am: Third patient, after leaving the house at 7 to get there as early as possible, stops at Starbucks for a Double Cafe Latte Frappuccino Grande Tall Blonde.
915am: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
930am: Doctor’s Office employees think about going to work.
945am: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
955am: Twenty more patients arrive, use complicated algebra to park twenty cars among seventeen available parking spaces.
10am: Admins arrive at doctor’s office, give all patients thirty-seven forms to fill out, suppress laughter.
1015am: Admin answers phone, puts patient on hold, laughs with coworkers.
1020am: Nurses call second patient to see the doctor first because reasons.
1030am: Doctor arrives through secret back entrance, hopped up on Mountain Dew and Ring-Dings.
1045am: Charlie from IT smashes the servers with a hammer.
1055am: Third patient fills out seven more forms, heads to basement for MRI scan.
1100am: Doctor’s Office employees break for lunch.
1115am: First patient getting a little antsy after waiting 3 hours for someone to weigh him, take his blood pressure, and make the never-before-heard suggestion that he should eat more vegetables and go for a walk once in a while.
1130am: Second patient has already seen the nurse, still waiting on doctor — on anyone, really — to ask her again what her birth date is, what medications she’s on, and what the purpose of her visit is. It’s the only way she can feel anything anymore.
12pm: Third patient lying uncomfortably in MRI machine.
2pm: Second patient finishes reading all three issues of People and Time Magazine available, wonders what Milosevic’s trial will mean for the Balkans in the long run.
315pm: First patient, not having eaten since 7 that morning, wonders if Domino’s delivers to this location.
4pm: Doctor’s Office employees now back from lunch.
415pm: Second patient finally sees doctor.
416pm: Second patient goes home, feeling fulfilled.
430pm: First patient whereabouts unknown.
445pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
5pm: Doctor’s Office now closed.
515pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
530pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
545pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
6pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
630pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
715pm: Third patient wakes up in MRI machine.
730pm: Phone rings at Doctor’s Office.
