Welcome to Battleworld!

Warning: Today’s post uses a lot of comic book geek fan-speak. There will be very little definitions given. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times and step away from the doors.

I’ve fallen away from Marvel since DC’s reboot. There’s just been so many good books in the New 52 (shut up). That said, I’m super-excited for Marvel’s upcoming Secret Wars!

Back in the 80s, Marvel released a cross-over event called “Secret Wars” that featured dozens of heroes and villains going at it on an alien planet put together by the cosmic being known as The Beyonder. It was pretty rad.

Flash forward 30 years, and the Marvel Universe is falling apart. Universes are colliding, and there’s nothing our heroes can do to stop them. Enter Battleworld: A new world made up of all the alternate realities Marvel has shown us over the years. Check out this map to see what I mean.

Even though I haven’t been buying much Marvel recently, I’ve been reading the summaries of the events on Wikipedia. That, combined with this random dude I met at a Barnes and Noble who caught me up on the last 3 years of Avengers comics, has enabled me to remain somewhat ahead of the curve when it comes to the beautiful, dizzying continuity snarl that is Marvel comics.

So now, I can’t wait to see what happens when the Age of Apocalypse must contend with the Age of Ultron! When the Maestro must face the Captain Britain Corps, and only the Xandarians on the Wall can keep the hordes of Marvel Zombies at bay.

At the very least, I at last have an excuse to post this picture of all my Marvel action figures just beating the ever-lovin’ snot out of each other:

Secret Wars

Click to enlarge. If your computer CAN HANDLE THE AWESOME!!!

Can you spot the miniature Moloid figure I got along with an old FF Mole Man figure I eventually gave away for being practically useless? Or the Doc Ock Mini-Mate whose tentacles I ripped out and tossed because reasons? Or Waldo?

Only kidding. I don’t have a Waldo. He’s one of the figures I don’t have…

I sure got a lot of toys…

Maybe this is why I’m single at 30?

Ah, well. Wheeeeeeee!!!

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